ABOUT ALLY

PRINCIPLE #1

We weren't given the tools and skills we need to build the relationships we want and deserve.

PRINCIPLE #2

Even if you're monogamous, learning about open relating will benefit your relationship.

PRINCIPLE #3

You're not non-monogamous or in an open relationship just because you want to learn more about it.

Hi there!

I'M ALLY ISEMAN.

I'm a writer, consultant, ICF-Certified Relationship Coach, and the Founder of the inclusive relationship education platform Passport 2 Pleasure. In addition to holding various non-executive director roles on advisory boards for a number of apps and brands in the sex tech and relational wellness spaces, I've been a speaker, sex-positive event producer, and non-monogamy educator and practitioner since 2016. I regularly share my knowledge and insights on podcasts, at live events, through my written and video content, as a featured subject matter expert for The New York Times, Cosmopolitan, Well+Good, Romper, PureWow, Yahoo! and others, and as a contributing writer for the leading industry publication Sexual Health Magazine as well as brands like Arya and Afterglow. As a certified consent and communication specialist and NCSF-registered Kink Aware Professional (KAP), I use inclusive relationship design to teach couples the tools and skills they need to build the relationships they want and deserve. Whether you want to open up your relationship to include other people, or you just want to open up more authentically to each other, I can help you open up without blowing up!

PRINCIPLE #4

If we have better relationships that last longer, we'll have a better world that lasts longer.

PRINCIPLE #5

Boundaries give us freedom and a relationship without freedom isn't partnership, it's ownership.

PRINCIPLE #6

Consensual non-monogamy can't save your marriage, but it could prevent your divorce.

MY STORY

After too long a tenure as a straight serial monogamist—jumping from one approximately 2 year relationship to the next with about the same amount of time (read: not much) between each, I saw the pattern and—nerd that I am—changed some variables. I wanted to explore. When I tried to open up what ultimately became my last monogamous relationship—without any of the skills or knowledge needed to do so—it blew up in our faces. It hurt but it also showed me this was real, and something I needed to explore, but this time on my own—I didn’t want any more emotional casualties on my conscience.

I got on the apps—this was back in 2016 when there were only a few and none in the mainstream geared towards alternative dating and relationship styles—but I started checking off a lot of experiences I was curious to have. One of which was attending one of “those parties” I thought I knew about from films like Eyes Wide Shut. One fateful afternoon fling to lead to my first invitation. It wasn’t until I stepped into my first curated play party—equal parts sensual, safe, and subversive—that I realized how transformational erotic space can be.

After a decade in this space personally and stepping into leadership roles to help build and grow multiple communities within it, I found myself getting regularly approached for support and advice. Both by couples looking to navigate the world of play and open relationships, and individuals who wanted more enriching experiences. These environments seemed to feel to many like a vacation from reality—allowing them to strip away their inhibitions and play. Yet when it came time for that same exploration inward to deepen the bonds of their relationships—both to themselves and their partners—it was met with fear and retraction.

Passport 2 Pleasure was born out of the realization that relationships aren’t a destination we arrive at, but are rather an ongoing conversation, with ourselves and each other. I saw the parallel: that sexual and relational wellness and the freedom travel and novel adventure provide belong together. I wanted to create a map—not of locations, but of experiences—for people ready to explore the world and themselves, without shame or apology: the roadmap for their ultimate relation-trip.

Book Me

"Ally just gets it. Her containers are safe and empathetic at their core. She is a wealth of knowledge, but more than that, she pours her heart into what she does."

J.C., monogamish

"When I am in need of insight into a conflict regarding my partnerships, Ally leans in and really listens. Her responses are thoughtful and she takes my personality traits into account, which is a rare find in this space where boilerplate answers tend to be the norm."